By two months, your baby…

…should be able to:

-smile in response to your smile CHECK

-respond to a bell in some way, such as startling, crying, quieting DIDN’T CHECK

…will probably be able to:

–lift head 45 degrees when on stomach CHECK

-vocalize in ways other than crying (e.g. cooing) CHECK

…may even be able to:

-hold head steady when upright TEMPORARILY

-on stomach, raise chest, supported by arms HE DID, BUT ONLY ONCE

-roll over (one way) NO

-grasp a rattle held to backs or tips of fingers CHECK – he grabbed the leg of a toy dangling from his bouncer chair and after accidentally letting go, he grabbed it again

-pay attention to an object as small as a raisin NOT SURE

-reach for an object CHECK – occassionally

-say “Ah-goo” or similar vowel-consonant combination CHECK – all the time!  If he’s in a good mood, and awake and alert, then he’s “talking”

…may possibly be able to:

-smile spontaneously CHECK – oh yeah- he smiles at and laughs with his toys and flirts with people

-bring both hands together CHECK

-on stomach, lift head 90 degrees I THINK SO

-laugh out loud CHECK – and it’s adorable!!!

-squeal in delight CHECK – (see above)

-follow an object held about 6 inches above the baby’s face and moved 180 degrees (from one side to the other), with baby watching all the way I THINK SO

Henri’s second month was a million times better than his first.  By the time he was 2 months old we were off the nipple shield and breastfeeding (quasi)properly, which gave us a chance to work on our rapport without all the strain of the feeding issues.  The sleep stuff has gotten better too, and we both wake up rested and happy in the morning.  (Ok, I lied.  He wakes up happy, and rested.  I just wake up…but when he’s happy and smiling at me…I can’t help but be happy too.  And since he’s happy and willing to hang out in his crib and talk to his toys, then I get to spend a few more minutes in bed…which helps me towards rested).

Two months was enough time for Henri’s personality to start to come through.  He’s a real little character- when he’s grumpy he’s grumpy but when he’s happy- oh, you’ve never seen grins like these.  He could melt the Ice Queen’s heart with his smile.  And every day with him and Jakob together is a day I wish I could freeze in time.  When we first had Jakob, I told friends that my favorite part about having a child was watching my husband’s interactions with him.  Well, the best part of having 2 children is watching them interact together.*  I am amazed at the tenderness that Jakob is capable of at such a young age, and I can already see Henri developing an attachment to his big brother.  I can’t wait to see more of them, and watch them grow and play.

*For now.  I reserve the right to amend this statement when they are older and fighting non-stop!

The 7th and 8th weeks were the most recent, and yet ask me what has happened and I think I’ll give you a blank stare.  I know that we went knitting at Ariadne a few times and joined a playgroup.

Mommy with Henri at 7 weeks old.

We started getting into a routine (not the same thing as a schedule, but just as handy) and I started to learn some of Henri’s little habits.  His big grins are a riot, and when he laughs- it’s infectious.

Mommy with Henri at 8 weeks old.

I’m sure we did other stuff, but I’m drawing a blank.  I know I got a little bit of knitting done, and managed to finish 2 projects that have been outstanding for a little while.  Some days I’m lucky enough to get a 30 minute chunk of knitting time, other days turn into a week and I realize I’ve done nothing.  I don’t tend to do much for myself (knit, eat, shower, etc) during the day because Henri still prefers to be held, and will wake up earlier if I put him down.  But he’s starting to have a great bedtime routine, and I can say with some assurance (here I go jinxing myself) that when I put him to bed around 10:30/11pm, he will sleep until anywhere between 4 and 6 am, do 1 feed, then go back to bed until somewhere around 8.  Knowing I’ll probably get a few hours of sleep lets me take a few rare moments of alone time once he’s in bed, and I’ll snuggle myself in bed with my iPod and some knitting, and if it isn’t too late then I’ll try to get a row in while Yannick takes care of his own end-of-day stuff. 

(I say this, and of course the last few nights I used that time between Henri’s bed time and my own to eat supper, clean up, or go to bed early.  But at least the option is there).

I think I’m almost caught up.  It will be nice to start posting somewhat “live” again.  That is- if I can have my hands free to type!

I’m still going from memory here…but here goes.

Henri’s 5th week brought him to his first movie.  He was great and slept right through He’s Just Not That Into You, which I appreciated.  We tried him a few nights in his crib, but it was too hard for me to keep getting up every 15 minutes to soothe him, and to only have him fall asleep just in time for him to wake up hungry…so we decided to keep him in our bed to make things easier.

The best part about week 5 was that I got off the nipple shield!  It took a LOT of patience and tries, but after a few days of using it here-and-there, I was able to get him to take it at almost every feed, and a few days after that we were done completely.  Don’t get me wrong- feeding wasn’t suddenly a breeze.  But it was SO MUCH better.

It was in his 6th week that we started going out more and feeling more human.  It’s amazing what a shower and a trip out of the house can do to you!  I saw my doctor and got the all-clear to start driving again, as well as lifting Jakob, which was a huge relief!  I actually left Henri with my mom that very night so I could drive over to pick Jakob up from daycare and surprise him.  It felt so good to be a parent to my child again!

Henri saw his second movie that week too- Confessions of a Shopaholic.  He slept the whole time again, which rocked.

6 weeks also brought around the first level of change where everything starts feeling easier.  Not as magical as I know the 3-month mark will be, but compared to the first 3 weeks…wow.  Suddenly, around 6 weeks, everything seems possible. 

By one month, your baby…

…should be able to:

-lift head briefly when on stomach on a flat surface CHECK

-focus on a face CHECK

…will probably be able to:

-respond to a bell in some way, such as startling, crying, quieting DIDN’T CHECK

…may possibly be able to:

–lift head 45 degrees when on stomach CHECK

-vocalize in ways other than crying (e.g. cooing) CHECK- he often sounds like he’s trying to talk!

-smile in response to your smile NOT SURE- we couldn’t be sure if it was a true smile, but he did copy us sticking our tongues out (one of the exercises post-frenectomy)

…may even be able to:

–lift head 90 degrees when on stomach NOT THAT HIGH

-hold head steady when upright TEMPORARILY

-bring both hands together CHECK

-smile spontaneously NOT SURE

Henri’s first month was, as you can guess, trying and stressful.  But it was also a month of great joy, as we welcomed our second son into the family, and got to know his unique personality, and got to kiss his little face.  We were able to watch as his “normal” ear pointed itself to match his brother’s “Vulcan” ear.  We witnessed how Jakob always wants to kiss Henri, and how his little brother tends to stop crying when he’s around.  It was a hell of a month- and I would do it again in a minute.

Week 4 is a bit of a blur.  All I really remember is a lot more struggling with the shield, trying to get sleep where I could (ha!) and trying to be patient and remind myself that everything gets better with time.  I still had weekly visits with the doctor/lactation consultant, and she’d check his latch and tell me to keep working on it.  I was also in phone contact with the private lactation consultant I’d met with, and everyone kept assuring me that Henri’s wanting to feed every 2 hours (and that would be after major stalling him) was normal, and would change as he grew older.  We were also struggling with putting Henri down after feeds- much like Jakob, he would bring up his legs and squirm and appear to be in so much pain.  We ended up bringing him to the doctor to see if he had acid reflux (like Jakob did) and started him on a small dose of Zantac.

Mommy with Henri at 4 weeks old.

I still couldn’t lift Jakob (or drive, etc…) but I made sure to spend a lot of time with him in my lap or next to me on the couch.  It was important for me to give Henri to Yannick or my mom or sister, and spend some 1-on-1 time with Jakob too, so he wouldn’t be used to always seeing Henri in my arms.  I’m still HIS mommy too!

Although Henri and I usually hibernate in the den, surrounded by magazines, the TV and VCR remotes, the phone and the bfeeding pillow (knitting?  what’s THAT?), occassionally we did surface to hang out in other areas of the house.

If I wasn’t feeding during Jakob’s own dinner time, I brought Henri upstairs and we’d hang out with Jakob and Yannick.  You can see how taken Jakob is with having us there!  🙂 

Oh- you can’t really tell (or can you?) but back in January we finally did something people had been bugging us to do for a long time and took Jakob for his first-ever haircut!  He was an angel and didn’t cry or fuss.  He even picked up the brush once the lady was done “styling” his hair, and brushed it out then took his hand and re-mussed it himself!

My boys.

Ack…I don’t know what it is…I’m sucked in!  I think I’ve watched another 3 more episodes.  I can’t turn it off!  It’s like an addiction…I can’t wait to see what challenge Paris will put her faux-friends through next, what humiliation they will endure (seriously- being called her “pet” is a priviledge?  WTF?) all for the publicity stunt of being called her BFF (best friend forever).  Forever, in celebrity land?  That’s what, like a week and a half?  Guaranteed the winning chick (I’m rooting for Brittany or Vanessa) will be dumped long before casting begins for the next season.  Anyhoo…

~~~

Anyone want to hear more baby stuff?  Our first week home from the hospital was stressful.  In addition to the usual stress of bringing home a newborn, not sleeping, barely eating and also having a toddler to care for and a house to run, we had feeding issues.  I’d never entertained the idea of NOT breastfeeding Henri and when it didn’t work well in the hospital I figured it was just because I’d spent so long in recovery.  I’d had similar problems with Jakob, but once he regained his birth weight he bfed successfully until I weaned him at 7.5 months (due to a family trip, otherwise I’d have continued until at least I returned to work).

In Henri’s case, he never lost weight outside of the normal realms, but his latched just sucked.  (Or didn’t- pardon the pun!)  By the time we’d left the hospital the few times I’d managed to get him to feed were behind us, and he didn’t latch again.  I had to pump and feed him with bottles, and supplement with formula when I didn’t have enough pumped milk.  It was rough!  Let me tell you- any woman who pumps exclusively to feed has my utmost respect, because it is tiring!  The animosity I feel towards my pump right now…

The CLSC nurse came to the house 2 days after we got home to take out my staples.  My surgical site wasn’t healed as well as she would have liked, so she only took out every 2nd staple, and said she’d come back 2 more days later to remove the rest.  After the feeding issues I wasn’t thrilled to have something else become an issue, but I didn’t have a choice.  The nurse tried to help us with the bfeeding, but it didn’t work.  The best she was able to do for us was to give me some feeding tubes so I could finger-feed him to avoid some bottles.  The hectic around-the-clock struggles of feeding and caring for the cut area were added to that evening.  My mom and I were home alone with the kids while Yannick was at bowling and I’d left her with a sleeping Henri (Jakob was already in bed) while I went to lie down for a little bit. 

Next thing you know she hears Jakob through the baby monitors coughing and then he threw up.  She put Henri in his crib and went to care for Jakob, when Henri started screaming.  That’s what woke me up.  What a rough night- I was caring for Henri while my mom was cleaning up Jakob and his crib, and he was crying and then started retching again and she was holding him over the toilet while I was pacing the hallway, bawling my eyes out because I couldn’t take care of my first baby.  It’s a really hard thing to be there but not be able to help because that’s MY child and I wanted to take care of him.  At that point Yannick got home and helped us with the linens and stuff, and soon enough Jakob was back into his crib and fell asleep instantly. 

The next day (Wed) Yannick checked out the cut area and said it was still bleeding and some spots were oozing.  Great!  My mom brought me to the CLSC and they took out the remaining staples and cleaned everything up.  They didn’t seem alarmed, and said to have the nurse take a look at it the next day when she came over.  Jakob had been fine the rest of the previous night and was perfect this morning, so we’d sent him to school.  He’d had a great day and had a good evening, although we were careful with what we gave him to eat because we didn’t want to irritate his stomach.  All seemed well until about 11:00pm when we started hearing Jakob through the monitor again.  It was like a repeat of the night before- a few coughs and then he threw up.  Yannick ran upstairs and I followed with Henri.  This time the cleanup wasn’t as bad- Jakob had the foresight to stand up and throw up over the edge of his crib, so it was only the floor and opposite wall to clean up.  But he started retching again and Yannick brought him to the bathroom, and again I couldn’t help.  I felt horrible, but I knew that I’d at least be able to be with him the next day as he was going to be staying home from school since Thursday was a special day.  I didn’t know what I’d do if he was sick, but once he was back in bed he was asleep instantly, just like the previous night.

The next day (Thurs) was not only 1 week after Henri’s birth- it was also the day of his bris!  In addition to taking care of both boys and me struggling with feeding Henri and making sure we had the clothes and ourselves dressed and everything ready to leave for the synagogue by 11, at 8:30 am the CLSC nurse rang the doorbell.  She couldn’t have picked a worse moment- Jakob, who had been fine and sitting happily in his high chair eating breakfast and babbling away, had just leaned slightly to his left and thrown up over the side of his high chair…directly onto our cat Sam.

*sigh*

What a fun day.  This recap is getting a little long, but suffice it to say that poor Yannick was caring for Jakob and cleaning up his 3rd (and later 4th and 5th) round of vomit, after chasing down the cat and scrubbing him down.  He got Jakob dressed all nicely for the bris and then we covered him with one of those long-sleeved, smock-like bibs to protect his clothes just in case he threw up again.  While Yannick was doing that, I was with the nurse showing her my c-section site, strugging again (unsuccessfully) to get Henri to bfeed, then trying to get both of us dressed for the party and making sure the diaper bag was packed, then packing a bag for Jakob with toys and Pedialyte… and the whole time I’m keeping an eye on Jakob and thinking what kind of mother am I for bringing him out when something’s clearly wrong. 

Luckily Jakob didn’t throw up again, and his mood, while a little cranky, was great.  He was a perfect angel the whole time (we joked with the Moyel that it was a good thing he didn’t remember him from HIS bris!) and hasn’t thrown up again since…so it must have just been something in his system.  Henri was also a real trouper.  He cried a little more than Jakob had, but only briefly, and then slept through the rest of the ceremony and the party.  As soon as it would be polite we got both boys back home, we all changed into pjs and spent the rest of the day just hanging out at home and taking care of our kids.

And THAT was the end of the first week of Henri’s life. 

Mommy with Henri at 1 week old.

~~~

Coming soon…weeks 2 through 6, some knitting, and a finished item!

Whoo boy…trying to remember almost 5 weeks ago with New-Baby Brain.  I don’t promise to remember everything, but I’ll try!

We went to the hospital on the Thursday morning for a scheduled repeat c-section.  Just like Jakob’s birth day, it was on the Thursday exactly a week before the baby’s due date.  I believe that, just like Jakob’s, it was raining or at least crappy weather (but my favorite).  Unlike Jakob’s, we were the second of the day, not the first.  So they put me into a bed, gown and IV and we waited.  And waited.  I knit a little while waiting and Yannick slept in the chair at my side.  Finally they were ready for us, and at 11:29 am Henri was born!

I’ll never forget hearing the doctor say “it’s a boy”.  After going through it, I’m so glad we waited to find out the baby’s sex, especially since the anticipation gave me something to focus on other than my nerves.

~~~

As a side note- I now FULLY believe that everything happens for a reason.  I know I had been very upset when I first thought I’d have a c-section when Henri was temporarily breech.  When he’d turned I was so focused on getting a chance to do a VBAC that I didn’t fully consider the risks involved.  Well, while they were performing the c-section I asked the doctor how my uterus looked, and told her I had been planning a VBAC until they estimated the baby as being too large (don’t forget, it wasn’t my doctor doing the operation, she’d had a family emergency come up).  Her answer was that the uterine wall was so thin that she’d already had to repair it. 

Had I gone through with a VBAC I would most probably have ruptured, and who knows if either Henri or I would be here right now, or in what condition.  AND, after all the hype, Henri was born at only 8 lbs 11 oz- NOT the estimated 9 lbs 8 oz – to – 10 lbs 3 oz that they’d estimated, which was the reason for the surgery after all.  Had they done an accurate ultrasound I would have done a VBAC and who knows what could have happened.  I couldn’t believe that news, and that information will now always be like a touchstone for me- no matter the circumstance, no matter how upsetting an outcome might be…there is ALWAYS a reason and just go with it.  I’ll never forget that.

~~~

Unlike last time, they didn’t weigh the baby in the operating room.  They did give him to Yannick to hold and I got to give him a few kisses, but then they took him away to the nursery to clean, weigh and measure and such.  Yannick stayed with me for a little bit and then went to follow Henri and find my family. 

Once I was all stitched up they sent me off to recovery.  I thought I was smart and had remembered how last time I had a strong allergic reaction to the morphine they’d given me, so this time there were allergy warnings all over my file.  Unfortunately whatever they were able to give me wasn’t strong enough and every 20 minutes or so the pain killers would wear off and I was in agony!  Instead of a quick 2 hour stay in recovery I was there until just after 6pm!!  It wasn’t until they found a pain killer that worked that they would let me leave, even though I’d been able to move my legs for hours.  By the time I made it to my room my parents had left because they’d had to go pick Jakob up from daycare but I was able to see Yannick’s parents for a few minutes, and one of my brothers.  And finally able to properly see and hold Henri.

I was in the hospital until Sunday afternoon.  Yannick came every day and went home each night to be there for Jakob and bring him to school in the mornings.  A bunch of family and friends came by to visit, and the best part was when Jakob came by to meet his brother.

My mom brought him by Saturday morning and then again that afternoon after his nap, and he stayed through until his bedtime.  He was so incredible with Henri- on his own he’d just walk up and kiss him, then go off and play with a toy, seemingly uncaring that his Mommy was holding another baby or couldn’t pick him up.  That attitude hasn’t changed since we’ve been home, and if anything he is even more loving with his brother.  When Henri cries in the play pen Jakob runs over, tries to rock the play pen and calls out “shhh shhh”, and when he’s in my lap Jakob pulls on Henri’s clothes trying to get him into HIS lap so he can hold him.  He is insanely good with his brother, and we are extremely relieved and thrilled.

After we left the hospital we came home and tried to get back into a routine here, hard as it is when one of us is mostly incapacitated.  We’ve had to rely on family and friends to help us out on a daily basis, because I can’t drive or lift Jakob (or Henri in his bucket, or even my too-heavy diaper bag) until 6 weeks after the surgery.  I know sometimes if you feel up to it people only wait 4 weeks or so, but because of the uterine repair I am going to wait until I’ve seen my doctor to make sure the lifting, etc is ok.

What this means is that every day my mom or sister or my friend Debbie (hi Debbie!) has to go pick up Jakob from daycare since they close at 6pm and Yannick has been replacing me at work and the store only closes at 6pm (and 8pm on Thursdays).  Each night someone has to stay here with me until Yannick gets home from work (or bowling) because I can’t take care of Jakob on my own.  It’s been tough, and we’ve been very lucky for all the help we’ve recieved because we wouldn’t have been able to do this on our own.  For Jakob’s sake I’m just glad to get a few minutes each evening to play with him one-on-one, or color, or whatever, and have him see that I’m not ALWAYS with Henri, so having other family around to hold Henri during that time helps out as well.

It’s been tough (especially for my poor family who has been stuck here every night!) but it’s temporary as I see my doctor next week for the postpartum checkup.  Assuming everything looks good then I will be able to take care of the nights on my own.  Hmm…shlepping Henri to the daycare to pick Jakob up, getting both kids home, fed, into bed by the time Yannick gets back…do I really want my family to leave?  🙂

In any case, there’s more coming, we had Henri’s bris and other experiences over the last 5 weeks.  But this is his birth story, and I’ll get to the rest soon enough.  And of course, one more photo…

Until next time…

Hey look- a few minutes where there’s nobody in my arms!  I’ll get to Henri’s birth story soon, but let’s face it- most of you are here for photos, right? 

Around here we’ve been joking that my body is a photocopier and when I got pregnant a second time something internal just hit “repeat” and sent out a Jakob clone.  Don’t get me wrong, they’re not identical, but they look more alike than just brothers.  It’s hard for people to believe that my pale, blond little Jakob was born so dark, but he really was!  Check these out: