Everything is coming together. 

I’m officially on maternity leave, and am looking forwards to a little time off before the baby comes. 

Yesterday I got an email response from the Sandnes people about my request for errata- turns out there WAS a mistake in the pattern.  They forwarded the corrections to me, and I will be able to continue on Kayla’s Lace Cardigan without (hopefully) any more problems.

I also reached my LYS yesterday and found out that they had ordered in a bag of 20 balls of the purple Smart Superwash when I had requested the 3 I’d originally purchased.  I only need another 1, and I picked it up this afternoon.  The dinosaur will be done a lot faster than the cardigan, so I am going to work on that over the next few days to get another project knocked off my list.

I also had an ultrasound today. 

[If you don’t feel like reading a long thought-process ramble about c-sections vs VBACs then skip down to the last paragraph of this post]

I don’t see my doctor until tomorrow, but the gist of the situation is that they are predicting that I am having a large baby.  Because of that, the technician’s extremely strong recommendation is to have a c-section instead of risking a VBAC.  Part of the reason is, of course, the risk to me in terms of a uterine rupture.  However, more disturbing to me is their major concern of the risk that the baby’s shoulders wouldn’t fit and that serious complications could occur during delivery.

Now, I don’t believe the baby’s weight estimate is accurate.  I fully believe that the baby will be born at at least a full pound less than they think the baby currently weighs.  Regardless of how I feel about that, however, there are 2 things I am fairly certain of:

1.  I don’t believe my doctor will disagree with the ultrasound technicians.  Therefore I am positive that when I see her tomorrow, she will tell me to keep the c-section date that we’d tentatively scheduled previously.  I don’t think she’ll give me an option, say it is my decision, or weigh the odds.  I’m pretty sure she’ll say that this is what needs to be done.

2.  I believe that the hospital and the ultrasound technicians are confident in their results.  Meaning that whether or not the baby actually IS as big as they say, they are sure that the baby is large, and are making the best possible recommendations that they can, assuming that the baby is large.  

Taking both of those factors into account, I have decided that whether or not I end up having a choice, my decision has already been made to have an elective c-section on the date scheduled.  I am fully aware that many people have had successful VBACs with large babies, and possibly if I were to hunt around I could find a doctor or hospital that would let me try.  But it would only be a “try”.  I don’t know that I wouldn’t end up in labor only to have it not progress and end up with a c-section anyways.  I don’t know that in that circumstance it wouldn’t end up as an emergency surgery.  And I don’t know what the outcome would be.

I do know that by making this decision, I am actively doing what my hospital and the ultrasound technician feel is the safest route for me to safely deliver a healthy baby.  I am certain that this opinion is going to be shared by my doctor.  These are the people that I have trusted with my previous and current pregnancies, and my previous delivery, and I am not about to start doubting them now.

If they said I fell into a “gray zone”, an area of their chart that could go either way…suggesting a c-section but allowing for the possibility of a vaginal delivery…I think I’d be upset.  I would feel very unsure about making the “right” decision about what to do.  But after plugging all values into the computer I fall so far into the “vaginal delivery is not an option” category that I am completely comfortable with this decision.

Also helping me make my decision is the fact that the baby isn’t predicted to be large “at birth”.  It is predicted to be large NOW.  But with a VBAC they advise against being induced because of the risk of rupture when you go from nothing into strong contractions.  If I were to wait to go into labor on my own, anywhere from today to up to 10 days past my due date, the baby (who puts on about a half-pound per week at this stage) would be nearly 2 pounds heavier than the current estimate (which already states that there is a risk).  So why wait around and invite problems?

I wouldn’t say I’m “happy” about this decision, but I am completely comfortable and not un-happy with it.  There will always be a small twinge of disappointment for what I’ll never get to know, but not enough for me to deliberately choose to put my child in any danger just to satisfy my own curiosity.  I feel like this is my choice to do what is best for the health of my baby (and my own, should it come to that).

So…enough of the heavy stuff.  It’s all good!  Baby coming soon!  I stopped working!  I can keep knitting!  And between doctor’s appointments (I might have a sinus infection- thanks daycare!) and finishing arranging any newly re-unpacked baby toys, that’s exactly what I plan on doing- parking myself in front of the couch, knitting, resting and vegging during the day…and spending my evenings with my son, enjoying him while he’s still an only child and appreciating everything he brings to our life.