This tries to show the colors of the yarn. It’s hard to see, even in real life, ‘cus it’s really subtle. There is a slight repeat, but it’s broad. The toe started with gray that is mixed with dark gray, then goes into gray with blue, then gray with pale gray, then repeats. You can really see the gray with pale gray part ‘cus it looks lightest, and the gray with dark part looks almost denim. The blue section is really subtle, but it’s there.

This tries to show the colors of the yarn. It’s hard to see, even in real life, ‘cus it’s really subtle. There is a slight repeat, but it’s broad. The toe started with gray that is mixed with dark gray, then goes into gray with blue, then gray with pale gray, then repeats. You can really see the gray with pale gray part ‘cus it looks lightest, and the gray with dark part looks almost denim. The blue section is really subtle, but it’s there.

This tries to show the colors of the yarn. It’s hard to see, even in real life, ‘cus it’s really subtle. There is a slight repeat, but it’s broad. The toe started with gray that is mixed with dark gray, then goes into gray with blue, then gray with pale gray, then repeats. You can really see the gray with pale gray part ‘cus it looks lightest, and the gray with dark part looks almost denim. The blue section is really subtle, but it’s there.

This is the completed first sock. I started at the toe and ended at the cuff. It’s done on 68 sts with Mega Boots Stretch sock yarn.

This is the completed first sock. I started at the toe and ended at the cuff. It’s done on 68 sts with Mega Boots Stretch sock yarn.

This is the completed first sock. I started at the toe and ended at the cuff. It’s done on 68 sts with Mega Boots Stretch sock yarn.

Thank God I knit. I’m having a really hard time going through the last few days and even while watching TV my mind gets distracted. I find the only time I’m not thinking about anything is when I’m knitting. I’m trying really hard not to complain because I don’t want to be selfish especially now when my mom and my aunts are going through something so terrible. I just feel like I’m lost. I’m trying to take it one day at a time but it’s so hard because everyone else is going through one thing, but I’m going through two things and it’s really, really difficult. I find I’m more sore and stiff now that I’ve been going out like to work and to my mom’s house, and every time I go in a car I get the flashbacks and fear that we’re going to get into an accident, and on top of that I miss my grandmother so much and have to prepare for the funeral on Tuesday. This is so hard.

Thank God for Yannick. He’s been so supportive through this, even calling my mom through the day to see how she’s doing, and spending most of each day there with her helping her set up for the shiva this week. [Note: shiva is when the friends and family come to the house to pay their repects. I found a really good article online that explains it, so if you’re interested, click here: http://www.aish.com/literacy/lifecycle/The_Stages_of_Jewish_Mourning.asp

Since Yannick has been out of the house the last few days I was able to work on his Mega Socks. Obviously some stuff has come up, but I’m still trying to get them finished for Valentine’s Day as his gift. Last night I finished the first sock. Blogger is being funny and not letting me upload pics using their software (what else is new?) so I’m going to post them in a second with hello.

I won’t be around this week ‘cus I’ll be at my mom’s every night for the shiva, but I’ll be knitting, so that’s something.

Bad luck happens in threes they say. My mom was so worried about that. A few weeks ago my sister smashed their car (she’s fine, car’s a total wreck). Tuesday I had my car accident. And well today my maternal grandmother passed away. I know she’s been unwell for a while, not sick exactly but unable to communicate and needing full assistance, and it’s been a few years since she’s been able to live on her own and talk and stuff, but it’s still a big shock, especially since she wasn’t ill or anything recently. Just peacefully (I hope), sitting up in her chair. So I might be awol for a bit, nothing new with me, but just letting you know.

I’ve done it, created a group for Needle Arts PenPals. Voila:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/needleartspenpals/

Please come and sign up if you’re interested, and feel free to pass on the invite to absolutely anyone you know who would like to be a pen pal. There are no requirements other than the time to write a letter, pop on a stamp and put it in the mail.

…for not writing. Tuesday night I was in a car accident. I’m ok, but it was really scary.

I was coming home from work on the 20 and an 18 wheeler who was in the middle lane decided he wanted to get into the right lane behind me…only he didn’t feel like waiting until he had clearance. So he hit me right on the gas tank of my car, which, thanks to all the snow on the ground, slid my car diagonally right into the middle and left lanes. Someone hit me in the driver’s front light and smashed it, then another car slammed into my driver’s door. Truth be told, I thought I was going to die. I kept saying “no no no no no” and thinking “I can’t believe this is how I’m going to die” and I honestly don’t know if I meant “in a car accident” or “now that I’m engaged and things are going well and we’re talking kids…and now I’m going to die before I get to do any of it.” Probably the latter, knowing me.

My car came to a stop diagonally across the middle and left lanes, as if I was going the wrong way on the highway with the nose of the car more in the left lane. I turned off the engine, and once I was sure I was ok (other than a banged knee) I turned my car back on and reversed to go pull over on the right hand shoulder. I can’t believe that after witnessing a 4 car + accident (I think another car might have hit me, but I’m not sure) most people in the right lane kept going. I actually had to wait for traffic to slow before I could actually back up and have room to get over to the right shoulder.

The truck had pulled over and so did another car who had to be towed. After sitting there for about 2 hours and dealing with the police and an ambulence (I refused to go) I was allowed to leave. The truck driver took full responsibility, thank God ‘cus there’s no way anyone else was to blame. He even told me over and over that he was sorry and just didn’t see me and hoped I was ok. (I’m saying “he” but I honestly think it might have been a woman…not too sure though). I was able to drive my car home at about 8pm, but I kept my flashers on and didn’t go over 60 on the highway and 40 on the main roads, ‘cus I wasn’t sure how it would drive. My hood kept bobbing up, and I didn’t know what other damage there was.

I came home and took a bath, and it was only once I got home that my side and stomach started to hurt. When my dad found out he wanted to make sure there was no internal damage so Yannick took me to the emergency room. We got there around 11pm, and they finally took me to see the doctor at 2am, and he finally came into the room around 3:30. He said I had to stay there so they could do an ultrasound which didn’t open until the morning. So they put me onto a stretcher and stuck an IV “door” into my hand, then took blood and wheeled me for chest xrays. Then it was about 5am and they brought me to a random hallway in the emergency observation area. I know it could have been worse, but considering they parked me under a bright light next to the very busy drug storage section, it could have been better too.

I didn’t sleep much, and at 7am they took another blood test. Around 9am they brought me for the ultrasound, and it wasn’t until 12 that they said it was all clear and I could go home.

So now I’m home. Banged and sore, but ok. The worst part is the flashbacks. I’ve never been through a trauma like this before, and I find that it keeps popping into my head at random times. Like last night I watched that TV commercial where the harried mom runs out and hugs the pizza delivery guy, and when they collided on screen, in my head I saw the car turning and the other cars smashing into it, and started crying again. But I guess that will go away soon. I’m off work for a couple of days, so I’m taking it easy.

I had an idea for a knitting and crochet penpal exchange, kinda like the secret pal stuff but with no gifts required, only a pen and paper. I’m going to put the word out in knitting groups and see if people are receptive to it, if they are then maybe I’ll try to set something up.